Just Wing It – Buffalo Wings [QUARANTINE EDITION]

Non-Ranking Info:

• Price/Wing: *
• Drum/Flat Ratio: *
• Heat Level: Double-Bogey
• Flavor Type: Buffalo
• Dry Rub or Sauce: Sauce
• Side of River: N/A (no physical location)
• Neighborhood: N/A (no physical location)

*I forgot to jot down some of the Non-Ranking Info for these wings but believe me it doesn’t make any difference.

Turns out when you “Just Wing It”, bad things can happen. And indeed that is what happened here.

I’m not exactly sure what the deal is with these “delivery-only, no physical location” type restaurants that are showing up on the delivery apps these days, but I figured I would give one a try. If it’s helping some struggling restaurant out there in some small way, I’ll give it a shot.

Anything we can do to counteract the long-lasting damage done by the policies put forward by Lori Lightfoot to help the wonderful people and business-owners in this great city: I’m ALL IN for in for it.

BUT! It is also my duty to be honest. I am ultimately a servant of the people – I will not be corrupted! ([Note: Insert Venmo here])

These wings are corporate. Not as brazenly so as the wings served by those frauds over at Wingstop, but there’s something going on here and I don’t like it.

Let’s put it this way: These are the types of wings you expect to get from a place that is currently getting its windows smashed in by undercover off-duty cops and ANTIFA.

There may have been a mistake when formulating the buffalo sauce. It seems like someone may have accidentally grabbed the bottle of epoxy instead of liquified butter. And you can taste it.

This “buffalo sauce” tastes so coproate-y that it reminds me of the chemical sauce that comes on these things I used to buy from Jewel when I was 17. The sauce is not good.

What did stand out about these wings were the sheer size of the suckers. Were there some PEDs involved? 100%.

Now as a child let me tell you two people whose posters hung in my room: 1. Sammy Sosa. 2. Lance Armstrong.

I actually still have the Lange Armstrong one up right now. I put a nice little frame on it though (I’m not a poor you guys). That’s a sentimental piece at this point.

So believe me when I tell you. These wings are 100% ROIDED THE FUCK UP.

I’m not making any value judgement on that though. Look I love Sammy Sosa and it’s time for the Ricketts to bring him back to Wrigley. Do what you want man. If all the competition out there is doing the same thing is it really that bad?

Can you still be the best amongst a bunch of other men using the same substances?

I say yes.

But this is not one of those cases. These wings are trash.