Commonwealth Tavern – Buffalo Wings

Non-Ranking Info:

• Price/Wing: $1.25
• Drum/Flat Ratio: 5:3
• Heat Level: Par
• Flavor Type: Buffalo
• Dry Rub or Sauce: Sauce
• Side of River: North Side
• Neighborhood: Roscoe Village

I have chosen to begin this special post with a limerick. If there are any purists out there who have issues – take them up with my 12th grade English teacher. I do not want to hear it.

I was riding my bike up North,

Saw that COVID was finished henceforth,

I spotted the joint,

Stopped in for a pint,

I shall dispose of my mask by The Fourth

Neon bar-sign lights peer seductively at me through open windows along Damen Avenue. It is 6:30pm. The Golden Hour. My attention is instantly captured, and I gaze longingly through fogged up sunglasses. My ears pick up the casual chatter of small, socially-distanced groups of people enjoying themselves. The hairs on the back of my neck begin to prickle up.

A spectacular excitement overcomes me as realize that I am soon to experience something that, though I am no stranger to it, I have not experienced in what feels like a lifetime. Soon I will sit down, eat, imbibe, and be merry on a Chicago patio. At last the day has come! It’s the feeling of walking into your first game of the season at Wrigley: in awe, taking in the magnificent sight of the lush, green field with your very own eyes.

My heart races. My mouth begins to dry. The COVID scare is done for. Good riddance quarantine. What a long strange trip 2020 has been!

The server arrives to drop off my Three Floyd’s Alpha King. Perfect pour. A beautiful amber brown. I pick it up slowly, carefully take my first sip, and set it back down. These muscles haven’t been worked in a little while – I’m rusty. 

I lean slowly back into my chair and position my left arm on the fence to my back. My sunglasses are on. I stare a thousand yards into the distance. I have aged one hundred years since my last patio beer.

What is to become of my life in this post-COVID world? So many questions.

But now is no time to delay. It is time to get down to business. I order the wings and wait anxiously for them to arrive.

Upon first bite I taste something oddly familiar; something I haven’t tasted in some time. I almost don’t recognize it at first.

But then suddenly – a synapse fires – and my brain is flooded with dopamine! I remember now. It’s the exquisite taste of buffalo sauce!

After eating the “buffalo wings” from Lord of Wings and Just Wing It, I had nearly forgotten what buffalo sauce actually tasted like.

What brilliance!

My black and white world is instantly overwhelmed with stunning color. The yellow brick road reveals itself so vividly! I can feel the breeze upon my face. I can see the ass jiggle on the sun-kissed yoga mama jogging down Roscoe Street. Life is good again. I find myself ready for peace in a time of destruction and chaos.

The wings from Commonwealth Tavern are exactly what I need. Just good fucking bar wings. Nothing more, nothing less.

They are crispy. They are saucy (with actual buffalo sauce). They are fried. They are nicely sized as well. They are everything I desire in life. A basic level of competence, nothing overdone. Just nicely cooked buffalo wings. Simple as that!

I was beginning to doubt my sanity. I thought maybe I had lost the tongue for wings after subjecting myself to the plastic sauce of the last few reviews.

But fear not, my faith has returned.

85% B